Friday, November 18, 2005

Stop the War

A hundred bucks in medicine and two weeks later I am no farther along in my fight against the insurgency in my lungs than when I started. If anything it's gotten worse. Perhaps if I'd only tried to understand why this virus hates me so much I could have averted this costly battle. It's also become increasingly obvious that the doctors who told me fighting disease is the right course of action lied to me. They are obviously in cahoots with big medicine and did not give me the full story. Had I known what I know now, I would've told my physician to take a hike. That I will not be party to his cynical plot to line the pockets of large pharmaceutical firms.

So, today I'm calling for an investigation into my doctor's practices and, if evidence warrants, a revocation of his license. I'm also calling for a complete cessation of all medical practice. It is clear that fighting these viruses and bacteria only makes things worse. We come up with a cure, diseases adapt and come back stronger. Humanity needs to simply stop fighting and let nature takes its course. Instead we need to come to grips with our role in creating the hell we currently live in.

Sure we gave the world art, civilization, horticulture, language, music, philosophy and democracy. But it was all for selfish gain. This world belonged to one-celled organisms, entropy and chaos before we got here and it's our conflict with these forces that is responsible for the mess we're in. Hey, look where it got the dinosaurs. Well, brothers and sisters I have seen the light.

It's pointless to fight. Nothing is worth fighting for. Not if it means war, stronger viral strains and environmental impact. Man is the virus. Man needs to be cured. So I'm calling on everyone right now to speed the healing and shuffle on to the next dimension. I, however, must not because this fight needs a voice. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops, so I must soldier on. Know that I will hold dear in my heart all those who heed the call of self sacrifice, but I cannot yet join you. Bill Maher just called and I must spread the word.

And the word is--POOP.
This message brought to you by 5 hours of sleep and an extra dose of myatussin with codiene.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

*sniff* That was beautiful. You should submit that to Slate.com.

Anonymous said...

Poop is my word.