Wonder. Fear. Love.

These emotions, from what I can tell after just two weeks, constitute the primary colors of parenthood. More often than not they are in various proportion to one another providing an endless array of feelings at any given moment I'm with my son. But there have been moments when I have experienced each in its purest form, absent from the others. Wonder is all I felt when I heard his first cough followed by the tiny wail announcing his arrival. Ice cold fear gripped me when I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard him choking over the baby monitor. And love? I'm sure it will come as no shock to learn that I find undiluted love to be the most potent and persistent of the three.

If you've yet to see any pictures of our boy, you'll find some here. And if you're wondering why we named him Eli, this post from August 2005 should offer some insight. More later. My boy is currently screaming his head off and its daddy's turn to give him the bottle.

Delay of Game

Tonight we were to be admitted for an induction. Laurie called at the assigned time and was told to call back in 20 minutes. Twenty minutes later she called and was told to call back in another 20. The next time she called back she was told, "Don't call us again, we'll call you in 20." 45 minutes later I called, and after 10 minutes on hold, was told to call back tomorrow morning at 8. They were insufficiently staffed to admit us tonight.

We understand that inductions take a back seat to natural births, but it still makes for a bit of a let down. Its like being called to battle stations only to be told, "Stand down. This was only a drill." I know the disappointment is even greater for my wife. Still, we're fine, the baby is fine and he will get here eventually.

For now we're focusing on the silver lining of one more night in our own bed and the possibility that the delay might allow nature to take its course. As we marched around the mall in preparation for the night's festivities Laurie had three really good contractions.

I probably won't provide another update until we've actually been admitted. In the meantime we thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Any Minute Now

We're just 4 days from the due date of our son. Laurie, God love her, is having a tough time staying comfortable in any position be it sitting, standing or laying down. The good news is that at the last checkup the doctor said that things might be progressing toward a conclusion here soon. We can't wait.

I think we're both past the point of anxiety about this. We're just impatient now. We want to see him. We want to get on with it. People ask me all the time, "Are you ready?" As I'll ever be. It's funny, but I was more anxious 5-minutes after she showed me the EPT stick than I am now.

I will confess I'm getting a little tired of hearing, "Your life is about to change forever." I don't doubt for a second that the people who say this say so out of affection and with the best intentions. But this won't have been the first time either of us have experienced change in our lives. Graduations, jobs, marriage, it's all changed my life forever. If there's anything I'm acutely aware of as I knock on 40's door, it's that my life will change.

For those of you whom I text on a fairly regular basis, you can expect a message when we're headed to the hospital. Consider that the starter pistol. As soon as our son arrives, I'll send another. If you call and I don't answer right away, well, I know you'll understand.

Here's hoping my next post has a picture of my son. Later.