Friday, August 26, 2005

Foul Temptress

We met when I was just a boy. You were always waiting for me at grandma's house. Through the years I grew to love you. In college you sustained me on those long study sessions that stretched into the night. You were my comfort when life was hard and I needed solace. But your charms soon became an addiction. An addiction that I couldn't shake. Then one day as I stared at the scale I knew you really didn't love me. That you wanted to ruin my life. I sent you packing.

I began to work out, to get in shape. Soon I forgot about you. Oh sure, I'd occasionally bump into you in the grocery store, but I was strong. I didn't need you anymore. I thought I was over you. Until last week when I saw you smiling sweetly at me from behind the glass in the vending machine. I was stressed out from work and hadn't had enough sleep. I haven't worked out in a while. I was weak and you knew it. And besides, it was just one package of Nutty Bars. How bad could that be? But you were ready. You, with your sweet innocent little smile behind which lies the path to perdition and ill fitting pants.

Now I am ensnared again in your web of chocolate lies and cream filled oatmeal deceit. I know you want to destroy me, but I love you just the same . . . you hussy.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

More cometition huh? I can take her...I am far more sweet & satisfying than she is. She truly is a hussy...and no hussy is going to mess with my man! I promise to NEVER buy nutty bars for our home...but you are on your own until February...be strong my love!

Anonymous said...

lcvwall, just be glad that it's not that slut Mrs Freshley that's after your man. she lurks in she shadows of the Meijer baked goods department in an innocent-looking doughnut box waiting for underage delivery boys.

as dirty a trick as that is, i'd go back to Mrs Freshley in a second. alas, we only have some foreign chick named Entenmann.