I can drive his Escalade. I can drive his SSR. When he had Harleys I could ride those. I was even allowed to drive his 390hp '55 Chevy when he had it. But I have never, ever, even when I asked nicely, been allowed to drive one of the John Deere lawn mowers my father has owned--until this weekend.
The rig he has now is a John Deere X485--a designation that I'm sure has significance to anyone who's a John Deere mower fan, but is lost on me entirely. Much as, I'm sure, JRX-S is lost on everyone but the 5 guys who actually bought one. But I digress. This little hot rod has 4-wheel steering, a 50 - 60 inch mowing deck and cruise control. Yes, I said cruise control. Apparently it's so you can set it at the precise speed for the best cut. Of course it's got all the other bells and whistles like pedal-controlled hydrostatic drive, a hydraulic control for raising and lowering the mowing deck and hydraulic valves for any accessories he might want to add like a snow plow.
I really have no idea why he's waited this long to let me drive one of his Deeres. All I know is I felt a little like I did on my first solo flight. Chills ran up and down my spine as I merrily mowed row after row of the Big Guy's huge 2 acre lot with hydrostatic, cruise controlled, four-wheel steering precision. Now that I think about it. This whole thing was probably some bizarre 5-year setup to get me to actually want to mow his lawn for him. I wouldn't put it past my father. He's as patient as he is cunning. He may have actually hit upon a way to condition me into believing that mowing his lawn is a rare privalege. That mower really is cool, though (did I mention it has a cup holder?). I'll probably jump at the chance to mow again. What a sucker.
Oh, of course he couldn't let me drive it without letting Laurie drive it first. I'm not entirely sure she really wanted to. I think it was just more conditioning. I'm never allowed to drive the SSR unless she's with me. Just his way of making sure I bring her around more often, I guess. I have no idea. The man is capable of anything, I tell ya', but I love him (everyone together now, "Awwwww.").
Last night we met Train Guy and Mrs. Train Guy for a screening of History of Violence. Now before I say what I thought of the movie I'll give my Tolemite-inspired artistic freedom disclaimer. I Uncle Lar, realize all artists are allowed artistic freedom and that their exercise of this freedom in no way, shape or form is required to appeal to me. However, I do see this as a two-way street, especially when I'm a paying customer of said artist's work, and feel that I, despite my lack of artistic credentials, am as free to criticize as he/she/heshe is to create. Now, about the movie.
I liked it. It was tight, well written and really conveyed the sense of dread and anger it's main character struggled with. Maria Bello and Viggo worked well together. The son character was written a little too whiny I think, but portrayed well by the actor playing him. The knockout supporting cast, which included Ed Harris and William Hurt, was fantastic. It was just cool to see William Hurt in a movie again and he owns every second of his cameo in this one. The only other problem I had with the movie was, what I can only assume is, the director's apparent belief that I have no imagination of my own.
Example. In one scene the hero puts a bullet into the head of an attacker. You see the bullet blast through the top of the guy's head and then the camera cuts away. Good enough for me. I just saw a .45 discharged at the top of his cranium and the resultant bullet hole. I get it. He's dead. But Cronenberg apparently felt it necessary to return to the dead guy and linger on the grisly damage done to the rest of his visage as a result of his .45 caliber lobotomy. There were several other scenes like this where I kinda' felt like the violence and/or sex was just a bit more than the story really needed.
In fact, at a couple of points in the movie people left. It was kind of comical when the second couple left. I don't think the guy knew his wife was leaving. I just saw her get up and bolt for the exit. He sat there for a second or two watching the screen then turned to his wife who wasn't there. He was kind of bewildered until he spotted her halfway to the door, then he jumped up and tried to catch up with her. I'll admit I sympathized with them some. Despite the title of the film, I don't think the marketing for it really indicates the violence (or sex) would be as graphic as it is. I suspected it might be though, as I have seen bits of Cronenberg's Dead Ringers. A very disturbing film about twin gynecologists played by Jeremy Irons. It was a bit much for me.
Still, I don't want to give the impression this film is all sex and violence. What violence there is, while graphic, is clearly shown to have consequences beyond just the immediate carnage. Unlike some films where the hero can gun down twenty guys in one scene and there's no reflection on, or even mention of, what happened the rest of the movie. This is why I had an easier time with it, I think, even though I felt it was excessive. The sex, however, as in most movies, was still pretty pointless. I guess the argument could be made that one of the scenes underscored the rather similar natures of Viggo and his wife. But I'll leave it at that.
Time to hit "publish" and unpack.
8 comments:
I kinda did want to drive the John Deere...mostly to say I'd done it. After all, for months now I've been told I'm not allowed to drive it either.
I'm with you on the whole idea of the Big guy manipulating you to get you to think it is cool to mow his yard. Obviously I've not known him nearly as long as you have, but he is a clever one!
Oh, and it was pretty obvious that you were salivating a lot while I was driving the mower...that is why after two passes I gave it up to you...I just couldn't stand seeing you look sooo longingly at a piece of machinery...it was almost painful! ;)
According to David Cronenberg, his film is a comedy. A black comedy, for sure, but a comedy nonetheless. From what I understand (I haven't seen it), some audiences are unaware of this, which would certainly affect how they judge it.
Whenever you see a Cronenberg film, expect a clinical atmosphere of disturbing sex and/or violence or even physical deformity. This is pretty common to his work. I'm not much of a fan, because I find his movies to be too impersonal for my tastes, and I prefer his earlier genre pieces, like THE FLY (which I loved when it came out) and SCANNERS, which I have on DVD. They're consistent with his other work in terms of sex/violence/disturbing themes, but they work on a level of straight horror too. SCANNERS also has the best exploding head I've ever seen.
Actually, a good film is FAST COMPANY, which is the least Cronenbergian in his oeuvre. It's a late-'70s Canadian production about drag racing with the great William Smith, Claudia Jennings and John Saxon, Crappy Movie legends all.
Let me see if this works for me, LD -- we have a really COOL old Farmall tractor in the barn that has this great "belly-mower" on it! You should should come out and take it for a spin. It mows the yard in almost 1/2 the time of the regular riding lawnmower. You just have to be careful that you will fit under some of the trees! (And trust me when I say that it does not fit unnder the clothesline!)
I have to laugh that we will never grow up in our parents' minds. I do not let Chris mow very often, because I am afraid that he will crash into a tree in 6th gear -- and that rider (little Craftsman that it is) still cost more than my first car did! I cannot afford for him to wreck it! I know that you are considerably older than his 13 years and that you drive things (Airplanes!??) that are worth more than even the J.D., but it is just that we will never grow up -- or you were completely manipulated to mow for your dad! Reverse psychology is the oldest trick in the book. (Again, you need to check out this COOL tractor!!) :)
Anyway, I can't comment on the movie, b/c the one "we" are excited about right now is "Robots". I think my brain disintegrated sometime around the time that Curtis' afterbirth did -- poor Cole never had a chance at an intelligent mom.
This is what I have become.
The marketing of that movie is really off if it's a black comedy. It looked to me like an action movie that was overly violent just for the sheer shock value of the violence. (I said sheer)
When we saw "The Punisher" a dude stood up and yelled "YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL F*%&IN SICK!" and stormed out. His buddies looked at eachother, shrugged, and looked back at the screen.
What did the guy expect when going to see a movie entitled "The Punisher"? Did he expect musical numbers and dance routines? Come on!
Then, to yell to an entire crowd, but swear while doing it? He's angry about the violence, yet his outburst was rated PG-13. Go figure.
I thought it was hilarious that his buddies didn't leave. That poor guy probably had to sit out in the lobby for an hour-and-a-half.
That anonymous post was me, whoops.
They don't make a covered Segway. Otherwise I'd totally have one. How did you get to ride one?
LD, your father is like a grown-up Tom Sawyer.
Cronenberg movies are notoriously difficult for Hollywood to market.
Oh, I forgot--Howard Shore did the music. It's obvious he just "cut and pasted" segments from his Lord of the Rings work, especially when they roll the credits.
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